I started taking ballet when I was three years old, and didn't stop until I was forced to in my senior year of high school due to some unrelated health problems. It was my activity of choice through most of my childhood, and there were years I spent 15-20 hours a week in the studio, fueled by passion and family problems at home. I was one of the best students of ballet at a small-town studio that swapped out terms like "plié" and "tombé" for "bend and straighten" and "fall," with the big regional ballet companies close enough to occasionally see in action yet far enough away to make professional-grade instruction geographically prohibitive. There were girls whose mothers shuttled them four hours a day to the closest big city to attend class, who spent summers at dance camps and weekends at auditions. As much as I loved to dance, I was not one of those girls. But I learned a lot of invaluable lessons through it - lessons in grace, concentration, determination, and self-confidence, among other things.

Having gained so much personally from ballet, I always knew that when I had children, I'd give them the opportunity to try dance lessons. Since we lean away from traditional teacher-student arrangements, Jeremiah and I waited until a month ago, with Z nearly five, to introduce her to any sort of formal lessons aside from swimming, which she adores, and Kindermusic, which is pretty freeform in its preschool curriculum.

Last week, Z started a ballet "camp" at a local dance studio. Over the course of the camp, it will introduce her to some basic ballet concepts and channeling some of her highly expressive energy into creative movement.

I bought her tiny pink tights and her tiny black leotard, per the studio's uniform requirement, and the other day we went to pick out her ballet shoes. One of my strongest memories from early childhood is that time just before school starts in the fall when my own mother and I would go to Brown's Shoe Store to buy me new ballet shoes and new tap shoes. At that time, you had to buy your tap shoes early enough to allow time to drop them off at the cobbler's shop to get him to nail the taps on. Ballet shoes came without the elastics so I would anxiously await and watch while mom sewed the elastic onto my shoes - excited to put both pair on for a quick spin around the house before lessons started in the fall.

I had these memories in my head as Z and I headed towards Brown's. As we walked in the door I instantly recognized that shoe-store smell from my memory. But fortunately I hadn't told Z her why we were going to Brown's, because the times have changed! Brown's now sells MBTs and Earth shoes and has nary a dance shoe in sight. I was too embarrassed to ask why they didn't sell dance shoes anymore (for all I know they stopped selling them 20 years ago) so we pretended to look around a little bit and then left.

I later did some looking around online and found a pair that I wanted to get Z, so we headed to a dance store connected to a studio (as far as I know, the only dance store in town). Not only did the not have the ballet shoes that I wanted, but the ones that we ended up getting for Z came with the elastic already sewn on! I was so disappointed - I had looked forward to a night of digging out just the right color of pink thread and sewing on the elastic in just the right spot, taking care not to break through to the surface of the shoe. Even the tap shoes came with the taps already on. No more reusing the same taps from year to year - although every studio I've been in has a bin of old shoes that you can dig around in in case you forget yours or need another rehearsal pair.

I'm going to order some ballet bun holders from Etsy tonight. At least they still make those!

Z is really enjoying her dance camp and wants to continue taking lessons in the fall, but it's just one of the activities we're gently easing her into over the next year or two to see what she's interested in. Because I'm fully prepared to accept that while ballet was my passion, it might not be hers. Yes, I might be a little disappointed if she ends up hating dance, but what I really want is for her to gain what I got from dance - confidence, concentration, and determination. If that comes from another activity that becomes a passion for her, I'll be right there to support and encourage her in it.