Celebrity bear Corduroy had chins wagging at a recent red carpet appearance, in which she wore a provocative toilet-paper-and-rubber-band gown by couture designer Zella McNichols.

Pundits agreed that the selection of colors coordinated well with Corduroy's trademark pink armband, a stubborn reminder of a 2008 injury that had tabloids prematurely announcing the star's death at the jaws of rapscallion daschund Harley Earl, who is still at large. "The somewhat bedraggled appearance of the gown is a testament to all Corduroy has been through since the pre-K heartthrob declared himself a woman after that injury," Page Six's Jarrett Brockington opined. "Between her frequent joyrides in the clothes dryer and the prominent eye scratches from her only haircut, Corduroy is a classic post-Brittany diva. She's managed to keep herself in the public eye with hard living and a decadent lifestyle despite not having worked in years."